Comedy: “Les Inconnus” on Lebanese Sectarianism

For many Francophones, even those raised in Lebanon, Les Inconnus don’t need any introduction. Composed of Didier Bourdon, Bernard Campan et Pascal Légitimus, they were among the most popular humorist groups of the 90s and have left their mark on French comedy with such hilarious sketches as Télémaguouilles (my favorite one), La Révolution, La Famille en Plomb, Isabelle a Les Yeux Bleus and Vice et Versa (my other favorite one). If you want to check them out, they now have a VEVO Account featuring nearly 200 sketches – (warning: you’ll probably spend a whole morning or two on them, mais faut bien comprendre le Français.

Featured here is a clip of them giving one of their famous fake news broadcasts on the Lebanese Civil War. I do not own the video, I just provided the English subtitles.

Here’s a transcript:

Bernard Campan: Let’s take a look at the Extreme East to clarify the situation with Regisse Virieux (Didier Bourdon). Can you explain to us the situation in a few words?

Didier Bourdon: Indeed Guillaume I have talked with the Sunni Leader of East Beirut and it turns out that the situation is quite simple. Indeed, if the Maronite Leader of South Lebanon give back the territory of the North of West Beirut to the Alawites of the Strong Party, they would allow the Amal Shiites to stay at the Extreme East of South Beirut. We still have to know what the Kurds of the Kahal Party would do with or without the help of the Sunni Mujahideen of the Afat Clan. (Campan interjects: Exactly.) That being said, if the Tabul of Palestine stay neutral and the Ashkenazi Buddhists of the Occupied Territories stay divided, it would be impossible for the Muslim Calvinists of Sheikh Habib to prevent the Lutheran Fundamentalists of the Imam Shooktar from crushing the Intifada of the Sephardi Amish of the South-East part of the North Western suburb of Central Beirut, peripheral and interior included. Are we going towards a solution to the conflict? We are finally able to hope so Guillaume.

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