In recent history, no business has received more criticism than the business of Responsible Slavery. Yes, it’s true, Responsible Slavery has had its fair share of criticisms. There are those who argue that human beings are equal and that basic decency and human rights are a must for civilization to exist. But others such as ourselves, doubt these recent findings about so-called ‘human equality’ and wish to portray a more realistic and humane alternative to that worldview. With Honest Advertising, we hope to defend our position and help us all, Humans and non-Lebanese alike, find a common purpose in Responsible Slavery. Sarcasm intended.

You see her everywhere. She walks the streets of Achrafieh, shops in the markets of Hamra, walks along Raouche and, yes, even mimics our own Language. She knows no rival in adaptation and situational flexibility. We are of course talking of the Filipino woman. What more can you ask? She fears nothing, eats adequately and never fails to answer any of your needs with a ‘Yes, Madam!’ Unfortunately, due to a high demand on the Responsible Slavery market, the Filipino woman is currently unavailable outside collector’s edition format. Please reserve your Filipino Woman and take advantage of low transportation fees.

Having trouble reaching inner peace? That Buddha-Yoga-Kung-Fu-Kamasutra course no longer helping? Fear not. With our travel agency, we offer you pure Nepali quality. No longer will you have to worry about Mastering your inner self. With a Nepali Woman, brought to you by our most qualified Zoolo-Anthropologists, all your worries will be gone and your path to happiness open wide. Let her bring the mystery of the Orient into your house and dust away your fears and worries. With her quick resourcefulness, short stature and shiny pale skin, the Nepali woman proves herself to be quite a competitor on the Responsible Slavery market.

And finally, straight from the hot and lonely desert, we bring you the African. Strongly built, moderately smart, and willing to satisfy your wildest desires, the African stands out above all. If you too are, like us, worried about the White Man’s Burden, please consider purchasing raw African quality. Help educate defenseless and hopeless Africans and contribute in showing the world that Man’s closest cousin, the African, or Homo Africanus, is not forgotten. He, or rather She in this case, will perhaps one day equal our intelligence. If not, we at least owe it to ourselves to try. Our wonderful country can help bring the soon-to-be wonderful country of Africa (including its many villages such as Ethiopia, Sudan, Somalia etc.) into a mindset of anti-corruption, kindness, honesty and development – something, We, the Lebanese, have of course excelled in.